When you have a mental disorder, it is common to forget that not everyone understands how you see things. It’s common to not realize that the way we think isn’t the ‘norm’. for example, I often forget that when regular people cry, they don’t have a panic attack. I forget that when they get mad, they aren’t shaking so violently that you can hardly catch your breath. I even forget that other people don’t almost have panic attacks when a confrontation occurs. Meaning if I need to call someone out, I end up shaky and panicking. I can deal with a confrontation; I speak my mind a lot I'm not scared to do that, but every time I still end up shaky and in need of time to calm down from getting worked up even if it's small.
For most people how they act and see things, they believe everyone else thinks the same way. Or, if they are mentally ill, they believe that no one on the planet sees and thinks the way that they do. Everyone probably does something that they think no one else does. The thing is that no one is really alone with how they feel and think. Somewhere there is someone who understands and thinks or feels the same way, not to the extent of being like the same person clearly as everyone is unique.
When I was younger, I believed that I was like anyone else, I thought I did things how people normally do them. Later I saw and realized that I was different, and then I believed that no one in the world was like me. Social media has come a long way in bringing like-minded people together and that is such a great thing. But there are still hitches where people still feel like they are the only one in the world who thinks the way they think. And for some things, maybe they do. But people who are mentally ill always feel like they are alone, like they are the only one suffering the way that they are. It makes it hard to communicate how you feel and think and see things, because you just feel too different from the rest of society and don’t feel like being ridiculed. But there is something you should know about your mental illness. It is not your only thought process, and you do not only relate to people who suffer from mental health problems.
Until I met my husband, I thought most of what I did was weird and probably so different from others that I wouldn’t amount to any good relationship. I was absolutely wrong. I have weird quirks for sure, but I have opened up about things I thought might have been weird and just because of my disorders and found out that it wasn’t so weird after all. I said in a post before that you are not your disorders, and that is so true on so many levels. Your disorder(s) might influence a lot of your thoughts and feelings, but underneath that there is you. The problem is that it is so hard to see past the disorders that you can’t really find out who you are. While your disorders are not your defining quality, you won’t ever be rid of them. So, trying to be you without them is a feat that is near impossible. So, stop trying to push it off and ignore it because it won’t help. Instead, allow yourself to feel the way you do and then find a lifeline of hope. Of whom you are, the qualities you admire about yourself and make yourself feel that as well. People won’t see the world that you see, but by allowing yourself to feel the good you have you can offer a perspective you see without feeling like you’re insane and just rambling. It can give you strength and confidence to speak up for yourself. The people in the world see what they see, offer them something different rather than the same things everyone else sees. Many creative people have mental health disorders, heck you can look on google and find that 73% of musicians suffer from a mental health disorder.
The point is that having a mental health disorder doesn’t make you wrong and so different from everyone else that you can’t find someone who is like-minded to have a conversation with about how you see the world. And finding those people that you can have a conversation with, a conversation that is really you, makes for some great talks and helps you feel better and less burdened by your mind.
By the way that like-minded person doesn’t have to be someone suffering from a mental health disorder. My husband and I are very like-minded, and he doesn’t suffer from any mental health problems the way that I do. I have found that by opening up to someone for just talking and not being afraid of sounding crazy really helps me. Sometimes I say or do some off the wall things and he is like uh what? But instead of cringing up like I used to, I find myself talking to him about why I think or feel things the way that I do. So, finding this like-minded person, who isn't mentally ill, has helped me come out of a mental shell and wall that I had built up. Maybe it is something you should allow yourself to find, to help you gain confidence in talking about how you see the world. Everyone needs to be heard, and you need to let yourself be heard.
All the best,
~TKNott~
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