I hope you all are ending the week on a good note! After all, it is Friday!
This morning I got a sourdough English muffin recipe going, it takes a long time to make! In fact it started last night to get an active starter going! I won’t be able to actually make them for like 6 more hours as I wait for the dough to ferment.
My husband has been wanting me to start on sourdough type breads pretty much since I started making a lot of our foods from scratch haha. He finally got his wish!
That’s the thing about relationships, you want to do things to make your other half happy. Today, I wanted to talk about that and more, so let’s get started.
Giving too Much, or Not Enough
Relationships can be complicated with or without a mental health issue. Knowing if you’re with the right person, if you give too much or too little in your relationship, if the other one cares enough, or even if you care enough.
If you are giving too much in your relationship things like
- Feeling underappreciated
- The other continuously expecting more and more
- Exhaustion, emotional and perhaps physical
- Not feeling like you are you anymore
- Not asking for anything for yourself
Could all be signs that show this. On the other hand, if you are giving too little then,
- Maybe you forget about important dates in their life
- You’re disinterested in their life
- They annoy you constantly
- You pick fights with them
- The other is debating on leaving
Could all be signs of not giving enough.
If you are giving too much in your relationship then you need to set boundaries for yourself and them. You need to allow yourself to put you first too because not doing that will take a heavy toll on your mental health.
If your partner isn’t ok with that you need to take a serious look at whether you are with the right person.
If you are giving too little, perhaps you should take a step back and ask yourself why. Maybe this isn’t the right person for you. If it is you should consider how to approach this with your other half.
Perhaps an underlying mental health issue is the root of your disinterest, things like depression and bipolar could have an effect on this.
If you suspect this talking to someone could help. And if you care enough about the other talking to them could also help both of you.
But if this isn’t the case and you just aren’t as interested in them as you used to be, you need to let them go because it is unhealthy for you and them.
Stability in Your Relationship
I am not a love guru, but I am in a healthy relationship, I also have experience in unhealthy ones which is literally each one before my husband!
Before my husband I was typically in the giving too little portion of the previous section. And the reason? They were relationships of convenience for me, I would be bored.
I never believed in marriage and never believed I would be with someone like my husband that I cared for so much. Not until it happened.
In a good and healthy relationship things are so different.
· You want to be better and take care of yourself
· You please them simply because you want to, it isn’t an obligation
· You’re willing to compromise and so are they
· There is mutual consideration for each other
· You both enjoy watching the other succeed and feel no envy
· You can openly discuss matters
· You can be yourself
This doesn’t mean you will never fight. My husband and I have had a few of those.
However, when the fight is over and clearer heads emerge, you are able to have a conversation about it, figure out how or why it happened, and know how to move forward from it together.
It gives your relationship strength even. You have heard the saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And in my experience this is the same with relationships.
If it doesn’t break the relationship then it adds to the strength of it, you can start to feel more comfortable even because you know that you can fall apart and they will still be there.
I’m not suggesting to go and pick fights, no. Merely to grow from them when they happen. For some it means growing apart, but for others it means growing together.
Final Thoughts
We don’t live forever. If you are giving too much take a stand, and if it is unacceptable to the other let go because he or she isn’t the only one. Learn to love yourself more so that next time you know your worth and will be able to set boundaries.
If you are giving too little talk to the other, if it is because you don’t want to be with them again, let go. Maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship, or you aren’t with the right person for you.
And there is nothing wrong with this, but holding on will hold you both back from something better.
Having no one is truly better then staying with the wrong one.
Find yourself and love yourself.
Best regards,
~TKNott~
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