It has been a minute since I posted anything so I’m sorry for the LOA, sometimes I really just need to pull myself together before I can do some things. Last month I had results given to me for a neuropsych evaluation in October which was set up mostly to learn if I have ADHD, surprise, surprise I do have ADHD. They also told me I have borderline personality disorder and PTSD on top of the depression and GAD that I already knew I had. Now my psychiatrist disagreed with the results of the borderline personality disorder, and I trust his judgement, he has been my psychiatrist for a couple of years now and knows me.
During this psych eval I was told that I scored low on the bipolar spectrum, she doesn’t even think I have bipolar disorder, again my psychiatrist disagreed with this as well. All of this made me sorry that I had even had a psych eval because it put me in a weird place. I felt my whole world had been turned upside down because what I thought I knew was on shaky ground. I almost went into a panic attack a few different times.
But then I talked to my psychiatrist and knowing that he disagreed and was certain of my diagnosis made me feel immensely better. Stressors like this could have really been bad for my mood, and it was, if I weren’t on any meds I think I might have been more prone to a worse hypomania then what I had. Those are the more common mania’s for those with bipolar type 2. Basically, I learned from this experience that mental illnesses are hard to diagnose sometimes cause they can mimic other psychiatric disorders. They are up for debate with some professionals, and it can feel complicated.
Sometimes we learn things we really don’t want to know, and it can be scary, or just rock your world in a way that turns it upside down. That can make you feel like you are on shaky ground. It can be unnerving. IT’s so important to use your support when you have it, I didn’t talk to anyone about this other than my psychiatrist really and I should have been more open about it. If I had then maybe it wouldn’t have been so hard on me to deal with.
All the best,
~TKNott~
Comments