When I was younger, I was put in some homes like Shodair, Acadia, a group home, and PCS. These are mental hospitals for children under the age of 18, one of which, Acadia, was a lockdown facility. I was in and out of these places from the age of 13 to 16 off and on, I had 2 of my birthdays locked up in these places. In these places I was diagnosed with bipolar, depression, anxiety, reactive attachment disorder (RAD), oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), and borderline personality disorder.
I didn’t put too much stock into what they diagnosed me with in these places for a few reasons. As an adult I wondered what diagnosis were actually real as I was put into these homes at one point based on a lie. When I finally decided to seek help realizing that things were actually wrong with me, I was diagnosed with bipolar, GAD, and depression.
Well, my psychiatrist and I decided I should go in for neuropsychology testing to see what else was wrong with me as I have been having increased concerns about ADHD. I had my testing this week and let me tell you I was so nervous to go. I was worried about finding out what else is wrong with me and finding out that there were more things wrong then what I already knew about.
I haven’t yet received the results! I won’t for almost 2 weeks know what the results are, but it made realize something. No matter what else I have, I’ve already been living with it day in and day out. So really no matter what it ends up saying in my results the main takeaway is that after I know for sure what else is wrong, I can finally come up with a plan to really get me better. And that is what is important for all of us.
We can’t get rid of our illnesses, but we can take the control we do have and find a way to work with what we were dealt. Getting a diagnosis gives us a chance to take responsibility and get better and find a way to live with our mental health issues. When I started getting worse, I finally made it a point to really seek help with a psychiatrist and after my father’s passing, I also gave in to speaking with a therapist despite my past with shifty ones.
Being an adult means doing the hard thing, and the hard thing is seeking and accepting the help we need and honestly the help we deserve to have in order to get better. If you are at a point in your life where it seems like nothing is going to help you and things are falling apart, please take it upon yourself to get the help you deserve for a better life. My life has changed immensely since I decided to get help, and it has changed for the better, I’m a better mom, a better wife and even a better person. It isn’t a cure, it’s a path to a life that isn’t just filled with misery. You can only get help if you want it. So want it, want it for yourself, and want it for your loved ones. Don’t be an idle victim to your illnesses, not seeking help is an excuse to be miserable. Don’t let yourself be stuck in a pattern of unhappiness when there are so many options for help nowadays guys.
All the best,
~TKNott~
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