If you have found that you are curious about the inner workings of your loved ones’ mental disorder, then this post is for you, whether it is to be proactive in helping treat them, or just to understand so you can more easily be there for them during the hardship. It takes open minded and strong people to be there for someone suffering, so if you are reading this then you are serious about wanting to be there for them and that is admirable and amazing, and I know they would appreciate it.
First a mental disorder is like a disease, it isn’t curable, but it is very treatable! So, thinking they will “get over it” one day is not the way you should view their disorder. As someone in a wheelchair can’t get up and walk, they can’t get up and not have a mental illness anymore. Medication can be very effective, but not for everyone. It makes some people worse. This post isn’t a one size fits all, I don’t know the situation of every person suffering and some even present differently but the inner workings of my illnesses will be present with others as well.
I have bipolar type 2, depression and generalized anxiety which basically means I get anxiety about most things socially and not socially. Bipolar is mostly a mood disorder most of us know that, but there is so much more. For instance, psychopathic tendencies are present with bipolar disorder, someone suffering without knowing that bit of information might believe they are semi psychopathic, which they are not, they just have bipolar with those types of tendencies. Someone suffering with bipolar will ultimately always wonder if their good mood will last more than a week or even a few days or a month. It’s a constant worry of “OK I’m feeling fine but how much longer do I have until a depressive episode hits? Or until a manic episode is present?” Sometimes when they are in a good mood, they can’t help but wonder if they are on the verge of a mania, and these manias aren’t safe either, people do things they wouldn’t normally do, things that don’t always make sense to themselves or anyone else. This gives them anxiety, and it is so hard to talk about. We don’t want to be a burden, even if their partner loves them as much as my husband loves me, we will always be worried that we will be too much at some point. Stress can and does trigger the mood swings, as does a lack of decent sleep. It can make the mood swings more frequent, and also more intense. So maybe we should all be on mood stabilizers, but these sometimes make you feel zombie like, like you aren’t yourself but as it lessens those awful mood swings it’s almost a better alternative. There aren’t always good options for them.
A simple and normal conversation can send someone with a mental disorder into a terrible gut wrenching feeling and a loss of confidence. This can happen to anyone, but not just anyone will overthink a comment that wasn’t intended to be rude or anything. Just anyone won’t feel like puking their guts up from such an intense anxiety that seems to overtake them. But someone with a mental disorder will. A common mental battle with people who have these disorders is based on what they rationally know, and how their disorder makes them feel. For instance, someone who feels like a nuisance to their friends, though their friends have never acted as though they dislike them, will overthink any silence, and isolate themselves because they believe that their friends are tired of them. An accidental effect of this isolation is a worse mood and more intense feelings of being disliked because it is too hard to reach out to someone and seek friendship or comfort. They often feel undeserving of affection. And yet rationally they might know that this isn’t true, that they are liked but it doesn’t FEEL that way. And after feeling that for so long, the rationality tends to leave as the emotional turmoil increases because we CAN'T LET IT GO. Yes we really try but ultimately it is out of our hands.
Why would they think that they are disliked in the first place? Because of nonexistent “signs". Signs we think are present and yet couldn’t be further from how it really is. Believing someone is mad at us because they haven’t talked much is also something we rationally may know is wrong but ultimately still feel it inside and it bothers us to a state of panic attacks sometimes. Distorted thinking causes an awful turmoil, and you can’t just turn it off. While the mental battle may not be physical, it does emit physical symptoms like stomach pains, nausea, shakiness, dizziness, headaches, lightheadedness, high blood pressure, increased heart rate, sweating and so many other things. What starts out as a simple misunderstanding can turn into being hospitalized, or even self-harm and suicide.
I had a panic attack once that completely immobilized me, people thought there was some physical explanation like I had too much of an energy drink, but the truth was I was just having a panic attack. I don’t say “just" to belittle it, it was very serious, and I was taken to the ER, I have even passed out during a panic attack and puked.
There is so much about these souls people just don’t understand and so they are written off as crazy and are thought of as weak minded or just plain weak. This is also entirely untrue, you don’t understand the strength of having to live with yourself every day when you have a mental disorder, so much strength to just live and for some just barely survive their mental battles, they can be incapacitating. Or the strength it takes to try and make friends or be in a relationship. Weak is not even close to what these people are, though they often feel weak and don’t see that strength of theirs as we are often belittled in society and we belittle ourselves.
There is a lot of information that can go towards this subject and I will touch on it again in the future, but I hope the bit I have shared is helpful for you to understand where they are coming from. As always I would love to hear your thoughts and I do take blog requests!
Best regards,
~TKNott~
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