I hope everyone had some great holidays! I took time to regroup and then get my priorities in order, sometimes the best way to move forward from what I have experienced and learned is the ability to take a beat, reassess yourself and your goals, and then decide your best course of action. It is much easier to move forward when you take the time to assess what you want and how you will get there.
Jamie Foxx said, “There is nothing on the other side of fear.” For some of us, fear is paralyzing. Everyone has experienced some kind of fear before, but this doesn’t keep them all from continuing to pursue and aspire to what drives them. If it did, there would be no successes to celebrate! So why should you let it stop you? I would like to discuss your fears, even my fears, and what we can do to keep going!
Acknowledging Your Fear
First things first here, you cannot hope to overcome anything unless you have acknowledged it and know why it is there. It’s the same as a goal. If you want to accomplish a goal, you need to know what that goal is, the steps you need to take to reach it, and how you can measure the success of the goal.
In the case of overcoming any fear, you need to know exactly what that fear is, why it is there, the steps you can take to deal with it, and what the outcome of that fear is.
A larger current fear of mine for example is reaching out and stepping up to earn money from home. Acknowledging this fear of mine has made it so that I could make a plan to overcome it. I needed to figure out what I was so scared of to even address it. Without truly addressing this, I would have no hope of even attempting to deal with it.
Overcoming Your Fear
After acknowledging that fear you have, you’ve got an advantage. You can make a plan and follow through! According to Health Direct, the simplest way to overcome a fear is to do it, whatever it is. Not in any crazy dangerous way, but in a gradual way for you to have the exposure you need to cope with that fear.
If you have read some of my other posts, then you know that I have GAD, having this disorder also means that social anxiety is a thing as well. A way for me to deal with this fear is incorporating myself into groups, small groups to dip my toes in and in a comfortable way. When you do the thing you are afraid of you get to realize that it is actually something you can deal with.
So, what if your fear is something that you cannot actually do? Perhaps a fear of death for example, you certainly can’t overcome this fear by trying it out! However, having this fear makes it very important for you to know why you have it. This is something inevitable for us all, and avoiding the topic is not actually helpful. Just like talking about your other anxieties or fears can be beneficial, so is talking about the fear of death.
Psychology Today is one of my favorite blogs, and on the fear of death they tell us that the research on overcoming this fear utilize the following ideas. The first is to help the next generation, whether it is nurturing and guiding them, tutoring someone, mentoring someone, etc. It gives people less to regret and can lead to less fear of death.
Another aspect they give us is to not avoid the topic as I stated previously. They suggest reading about it, perhaps working with those who have a terminal illness even. Following this they suggest a simulated out of body experience. It can give you the sense of living on after your passing.
However, their most important tip is to create meaning in your life. Reflect on your values and govern your life with them. Live by your values and continue to do so despite what everyone else may think. I read something once about the biggest regrets people had when they were on their death bed. And a common one had said this, “I regret living to please others, I wish I would have lived according to what I wanted out of life, what I valued in my lifetime so I could at least feel more fulfilled.”
Final Thoughts
The only thing that really holds us back in life is typically ourselves. Whether it is fear, or not knowing what you want in life, or getting too comfortable in your routine to even think about stepping out of it to do what you want to do. This is just something we need to accept responsibility for. The situation may not be all on you, but letting fear be the reason that you give up or don’t even try is on you.
There are so many other ways to figure out how to cope with your fear, but taking the first couple of steps and dipping your toes in is a great way to start.
Best regards,
~TKNott~
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