Being a parent is completely exhausting. It’s your heart living outside of your body, and every single day you have to care for it to make sure it keeps beating. It’s also beautiful. The satisfaction of knowing that you kept that heart beating all day, and that it is still there loving you the next day. Even when you hurt their feelings, they just love you. The love of a child is unconditional, and it can also be challenging to meet their standards, to meet your own standards of what should and should not be part of their lives. There is a very common saying that goes, happy mom, happy dad, happy kid.
It goes without saying that we sometimes forget to make sure we are happy and fulfilled. When we always want to put them first or have to put them first, we sometimes run on fumes. Which makes for a more chaotic household. And if you are running on fumes then you aren’t giving your children your very best. You aren’t giving anyone your best.
I had an exhaustive summer and I kept running on fumes because I kept not giving myself any kind of actual care. My whole tank was empty because I was too focused on their needs and not my own. Given this lack of attention to me it was a hectic summer, my main focus was let’s keep my kids alive today. Let’s keep my kids happy today. Let’s keep them satisfied today. These things should always be there of course but what about me? My mental health deteriorated to a scary point for me, and yet somehow, I was able to keep face.
So let me share this from me to you. Don’t just be a parent. Don’t just take care of those beautiful things that drive you insane (you know they do sometimes). Be you. Be the person you need to be. Be the person you want to be. Go see that movie and get a babysitter. Go get that tattoo done finally. Go have a drink with a friend. Do these things because you are not just a parent. You are a human being.
If you have never played the game the Sims then I say this to you, in this game you have to take care of this household you created, and each person has needs. If you don’t take care of them, they become completely dissatisfied with everything and it is so hard to make them happy again. they have needs besides showering and eating. There are things like keeping them entertained, relaxed and happy. EVERY single person in the household.
In an actual household everyone still has needs, this game is kind of accurate because if you don’t take care of yourself, it is so damn hard to find anything appealing again. With a mental illness we call it self-care, and the thing is everyone needs self-care. Granted if you don’t have a mental illness and aren’t practicing self-care the effects may not be as devastating, but there are still unsatisfactory results from not taking care of yourself. Keep your tank full so that you do have a happy household. You might just be one person, but you’re a person being relied on. And if you can’t take care of yourself, how can you really take care of anyone else? Not just going through the motions, but actually taking care of them. You can’t help them nearly as well running on fumes trust me on this. Happiness and laughter are contagious, so bring it to the table by taking care of you.
All the best <3,
~TKNott~
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